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The Definitive NYC Burger List (2017 Edition)

The Definitive NYC Burger List (2017 Edition)

A Noble Quest

I’ve been on a quest lately to find great burgers in New York City.

While the tried and true burgers at places like Corner Bistro, Minetta Tavern, The Spotted Pig, Bill’s, The Ainsworth, and even Veselka will always have a place in my heart (literally – I’ve got cholesterol in my body that probably goes back to the Carter administration) there’s always room for improvement.

After conferring with a rather lovely Polish Internet foodie, I decided to find, rate, and rank the best new-ish, off-the-beaten-path burgers in New York City.  So without further opining, here now, from the home office in Church Street Station New York, is…

1. The Breakroom

Breakroom is an unlikely joint in an unlikely location. And their Breakroom Burger is not to be missed.

Nestled snugly behind the jail downtown (just north of Columbus Park where all the really interesting old Asian people hang out and next door to a friendly-but-gruff bail bondsman named Hank) this is not where you’d expect to find one of the best “everything” burgers in the city.

  • Runny egg?  Check.
  • Pork belly?  Yup.
  • Pat LaFreida beef cooked perfectly? Hells yes.

Prime-lunchtime diners can expect a bit of a wait and no seat in the crowded dining room, and there’s a rather slow young lady behind the counter on weekends, but quirks aside this is a spectacular burger that is not to be missed.

Go now.

Breakroom
83 Baxter Street
New York, NY 10013
+1 (212) 227-2802
breakroomnyc.com

The Breakroom

How does our The French Onion Soup Burger measure up to other NYC burgers you've tried?

A post shared by Little Prince (@littleprincenyc) on

  • Meat 95%
  • Ambiance 95%
  • Team 100%

2. Little Prince

Probably the most surprising burger I had in the last year… the French onion soup burger on an English muffin sounds like a recipe for disaster if you’re a kid at your rich-friend-with-a-lazy-mom’s house and dinner catches Mrs. Estaguarebian off guard in-between moments of consciousness during afternoon “tea”, but I digress…

This surprise hit at the super quaint SoHo joint is not to be missed.  I got mine rare, like the god damn connoisseur that I am.  Also, go with a smart, cut Asian girl.  Highly recommended.

Little Prince
199 Prince Street
New York, NY
+1 (212) 335-0566
littlepincesoho.tumblr.com

Little Prince

3. L.E.S. Kitchen

You’d think a burger with “applewood-smoked bacon and house sauce on a toasted potato bun” would set off my hipster warning alarm™ and it did…  but with the endorsement of a good friend and respected burger gourmand, I went anyway.

And I’m glad I did.

Not only is their Mighty Bacon an excellent, well balanced burger, their Juicy Lucy is absolutely to die for.  The ingredients are absolutely top-notch and compliment the meat patty perfectly.

This place is super close to Breakroom and kind of a toss-up in my mind.  Depends on which way the wind is blowing when I’m done visiting Bob in lock-up.

L.E.S. Kitchen
15 Essex Street
New York, NY 10002
+1 (646) 952-2313
leskitchennyc.com

L.E.S. Kitchen

Breaking open our Juicy Lucy is a #Monday tradition! #leskitchen

A post shared by LOWER EAST SIDE (@les_kitchen) on

  • Meat 90%
  • Hipsters present 0%
  • Team 90%
  • Meat 93%
  • Psychotic Behavior 99%
  • Team 95%

4. The Anthony

What kind of deranged, psychotic, lunatic puts creamed spinach on a perfectly good burger?  No, seriously… hear me out:

In burgerdom, I think people go to nutty with accoutrements.  I get the fried onions, runny eggs, sautéed mushrooms, even the occasional crispy parmesan wafer… but creamed spinach?  That sounds like the most disgusting melange of flavors since a Wendy’s Frosty and Fries.

Until you try it.

Then, all you want is to have it every day.  Forever.  Until your heart explodes.

Make a reservation. (It’ll be easier.)

The Anthony
183 Bleecker Street
New York, NY 10012
+1 (212) 804-7771
theanthonynyc.com

The Anthony

Bah!

5. Pizza Loves Emily

This ‘Emily’ chick is amazing.  First off, she’s got a totally new-school gangster pizza joint.  (2 actually).  And she gets some of the most innovative people in moderne culinary extravagance to some to her and make way-too-few dishes for the throngs of people literally lined up around the block to sample their dishes.

It’s really remarkable.

But… considering her insatiable lust for pizza, it’s no surprise that her incredibly hard to get (the hipster Brooklyn bullshit you’ve got to wade through to even know what’s being served on any given day is akin to trying to get the DMV on the phone) burger is nothing short of a Che Guevara revolution. And unlike the current-day Brooklynites sporting his image on their $90 t-shirts, I know what that actually means.

ANYWAY, this burger is ridiculous.  It’s on a pretzel bun.  Think about that.  A pretzel bun.  With a spectacular burger wedged in there.  Holy shit.

It’s amazing.

Pizza Loves Emily
919 Fulton Street
Brooklyn, NY 11238
+1 (347) 844-9588
pizzalovesemily.com

Pizza Loves Emily

So, there you have it. 5 of the greatest new-ish burgers in New York City.  Grab a friend.  And get your burger on.

Tell them that you’re a member of the First Old Guard and you want a discount.  And if that works, please let us know in the comments below…

About The Author

Chef of the Future

Originally from ungentrified Brooklyn in 1950s America, the Chef of the Future is a popular misogynist & buffoon who never once cored a apple.

2 Comments

  1. Doc Hollywood

    You forgot to Salvation Burger, Cherche Midi, and Tavern on Jane. …and while I’m at it, what about the Smoked Meat Sandwich at Mile End? (Although, you can’t get near that place since they shot that scene at Billions there…)

    Reply
  2. R. McDonald, S.J.

    Let democracy rule: Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun at 73 Billion and counting. Total of all burgers above: 347.

    Your Brother in Christ,
    Father Ronald

    Reply

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